Restless wanderer

Hello 🙂

I spent a great deal of yesterday listening to sermons from my [baptist] church.  I heard some really powerful messages, one series in particular was called “come home” and was about those who [like me…and you at one point or another I’m sure] have fallen away, or been lead astray, or kind of just wandered.  And then we get in a rut where we are reluctant to go back because of fears and guilt.  Bottom line, it spoke to me.

It got me doing some soul searching as I started to ask myself some questions such as…

Where have I grown the most in my faith in Jesus?

Why or how did I end up wandering each time I faltered?

How do I come back or what brings me back?

I am not really ready to get into the gritty details of these questions in particular just yet.  I really just want to air my frustration.  Can I vent…ramble…will you listen?

Why does the Catholic Church not feed me?  I pray for faith in the Real Presence and He gives it to me more now than ever, in a real tangible way.  I am overcome with joy at the Blessed Sacrament that my eyes well up with tears that I can celebrate it.  [I am hoping to not offend but trying to be real here.]   What I am saying though is, beyond the Blessed Sacrament, it’s empty to me [well, today it is…knowing myself I can very well wake up tomorrow refreshed and renewed and sure of where He has me].  I had someone tell me that I shouldn’t need anything more than the Blessed Sacrament, and while I can totally see their point of view as it is Jesus, I also can’t because it’s not like Jesus in the Eucharist is available all day everyday.  

Catholicism is very private and personal while other faiths, like baptists, are very corporate and faith is shared, life in the faith is celebrated together.  Maybe that is the point of this struggle that I am having.  I am sure they are out there somewhere but I have never experienced Catholics living catholicly together.
Light bulb moment.  I know someone is going to tell me Jesus is available to me, all day everyday everywhere, I just have to talk to Him.  I’ve done that, plenty of times and end up in the same uncertain place.

I don’t know, everything seems so complicated.  

I went on to listen to a couple of the “sola” sermons and was really interested in listening to the sola scriptura sermon.  I was disappointed, and am thinking about emailing the pastor on it.  The gist of the sermon was about how scripture is Gods word and can be trusted, it’s all true, the stories are all true.  This didn’t answer the question of authority though. I totally believe the Bible is Gods word, no doubts about that.  But the question is, how did Christianity spread before the written word was available to everyone…over hundreds of years?  What was the authority before the ink met the paper?

Advertisements

Day 2

“Today bring to Me the Souls of Priests and Religious,
and immerse them in My unfathomable mercy. It was they who gave me strength to endure My bitter Passion. Through them as through channels My mercy flows out upon mankind.”
Most Merciful Jesus, from whom comes all that is good, increase Your grace in men and women consecrated to Your service,* that they may perform worthy works of mercy; and that all who see them may glorify the Father of Mercy who is in heaven.
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the company of chosen ones in Your vineyard — upon the souls of priests and religious; and endow them with the strength of Your blessing. For the love of the Heart of Your Son in which they are enfolded, impart to them Your power and light, that they may be able to guide others in the way of salvation and with one voice sing praise to Your boundless mercy for ages without end. Amen.

Pray for our Nation – Day One.

The greatest election in my lifetime is upon us.  We have two primary candidates with very different views for the future of our nation.  More than anything, we need God’s hand leading us.  I know regardless of who wins, the ultimate story will be to God’s glory!  So, I ask that you join me in prayer for the next 9 days for our great nation and the future we are going to be leaving for our children, grandchildren, and all future generations.  I will be praying the Divine Mercy Novena and Chaplet.

Day One.

Today bring to Me ALL MANKIND, ESPECIALLY ALL SINNERS, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me.

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

To be entrusted with the Gospel

It is striking, as a [reverted] Catholic, to come across those portions of Holy Scripture, that validate the Sacred Institution and the claims it has been making since the beginning of the Church.  You see the Scripture for what it is, and begin to see that any explanation that doesn’t also see it for what it is, is simply an attempt to run away from the passage.  It is an attempt to bring forth a meaning that was never intended, because to accept it for what it says, is to admit that perhaps you were wrong in your misconceptions.

It can be very frightening, admitting you were wrong.  Doing so means all you have known isn’t exactly accurate.  You would have to accept it, that is to say, embrace the truth even when it might make you physically uncomfortable.

The passage that has me thinking today is 1 Thessalonians 2…

Verse 13.  And for this reason we too give thanks to God unceasingly, that, in receiving the word of God from hearing us, you received not a human word but, as it truly is, the word of God, which is now at work in you who believe.

And Verse 4.  But as we were judged worthy by God to be entrusted with the gospel…

At the time these events were happening there was no bible.  No collection of written material for people to refer too.  What they had were the apostles who told them the things of Christ orally.  And the apostles had to pass what they knew to others who would be charged with the same authority.  It makes logical sense that an institution would guard these teachings to ensure accuracy as time progressed.  It is promised that the gates of hell would not overcome the church, so it makes sense that Jesus would give us people to ensure the proper message delivery over time.

So the first Protestant bible was completed in the year 1611.  That is one thousand six hundred and eleven years AFTER Jesus walked this earth.  How could Christian-dome advance over these years without teachers, a priesthood, to ensure the right information was passed. Why would we trust these worthy individuals that God himself entrusted the passing of the message for so long a time and then just shut them off sixteen hundred years later and suddenly we no longer can trust oral traditions/teachings?  We must now adhere to the Bible alone theory?  

This just doesn’t make sense.

Pleasant surprises

One of my biggest fears in returning to the Catholic faith was my kids and what they were going to learn.  They haven’t learned about Mary…the Rosary…Saints…you name the Catholic teaching.  I had this irrational fear that maybe this was a bad idea and that they would be diving right into every teaching and I would have a hard time with it at home because of my own reservations as I come back to the fold.  I have 20 years of anti-Catholic propaganda to sift through myself.

The past several weeks they have been learning about God and Jesus.  Can you believe it!?  I have allowed the anti-catholic movement to pollute my understanding of the Catholic faith and Catholic teaching to my own detriment.  

It’s been a pleasant surprise, an affirmation, to see first hand, that Jesus really is the central focus of our faith no matter how much the anti-Catholics suggest otherwise.  

Pax Christi!!